Wendy Jans

Living in the moment
I have always had the bad habit of not living in the moment.  In fact, I’ve lived my life making sure I always had things to look forward to.  Whether it’s a really great gig, a friend visiting from out of town or a girls weekend with my sisters… I have this need to have a gazing point.  This has always been a problem, obviously, because when that event finally happens, it leaves me scrambling to find another thing to replace it, and somewhat depressed until I do.   But this week, I started thinking about how, when you’re caring for a baby, you can’t live like that.  You have to be present in each moment – for the baby’s safety and care, but also so that you don’t miss a second of this little life – growing exponentially right before your eyes.

Being Intentionless
That said, I rediscovered the joy in continuing to do what you do. For the first time since Mira was born, I stole some moments this week and finally picked up my guitar, then I spent a little time getting my fingers reacquainted with my piano.   When I was in college, I used to sneak into a practice room and just play the piano and sing.   I would do this for hours and didn’t really realize it, but now I know it was a stress reliever and an escape.  Back then, I wasn’t trying to write a song that would get me somewhere, or fit into a genre.  It was intention-less.

I want to continute to rediscover the cathartic joy of being intentionless.  I believe in living with intention, but this week, I’m discovering that sometimes just living, is enough.