2 things to stop saying
by Wendy Jans on February 4, 2011
“The words that come from your mouh, you’re the first to hear. Speak words of beauty and you will be there”
~India Arie; Get it Together
1. I’m gettin’ old.
I HATE it when people say this. I first acquired this particular pet peeve when I was in my mid-twenties. I was in a band with 
some guys who were only a few years older than me. As they started creeping toward their 30’s, one even breaking the tri-decade barrier, I started hearing them say things like “We’re getting old”, “I don’t want to drive that far to a gig, I’m getting old you know…”. It really got under my skin – not just because it was ridiculous, or because I was adamantly opposed to the very idea of aging as a female in the music world (gasp!), but because all I could think is “What a waste. These are the DAYS, man!”
But these aren’t just “the days” for a 20-somethings. These are the days for a 30-somethings, 40-somethings and 70-somethings. Think about it, when you are 98 years old, do you really want to look back to your 50th birthday and remember crying in your soup because you thought you were ancient? Or do you want to look back at a grateful you, celebrating, living and treasuring your life? Make it a goal to be someone who lived every year as a special and distinct time in your life. I give a money-back guarantee that you will never regret this.
2. You know, we’re getting old.
Okay, this might seem redundant, but the “we’re” part lends it’s own special grating quality that makes it deserve its own bullet.
If you are going to be a sad sack and insist on aging yourself verbally, leave me out of it. I went to my husband’s class reunion and heard several people saddled with some unkind life circumstances uttering these very words. Misery loves company, I guess.
But I’ll tell you what, don’t invite me to your party. I refuse to live my life comparing my current self to my 17 year old self. Yeah, I had some good times and a nice head of hair, but I was also riddled, RIDDLED with insecurities and don’t care to glue my identity to that ancient history.
No, it’s not that I’m under the impression that I’m somehow impervious to time, but the implications of “You know, we’re getting old” is just ugly, negative and wholly a matter of perspective. I’m a stinkin’ spring chicken in a 45 year old’s eyes! And a 45 year old is a stinkin’ spring chicken by the standards of a 60 year old… and..well, you get the point… Apply according, rinse and repeat.
11 comments
You Rock Wendy Jans!
I have the same pet peeves for the same reasons. I LOVE being the age I am and fully expect to continue to feel this way until God calls me home. My mom is pushing 80 and has the spirit of a 16 yr old, My dad has repeated said to me growing up the word “retirement” is not in his vocabulary. He will be 79 this year and still does construction part time. There’s a lot more I could say but I have to head out the door to work….related to this topic is the people who whine about the weather…. saw this posted on facebook and just had to say something. DM
by DM on 02/04/2011 at 6:28 am. #
Thanks for saying something! I LOVE that about your mom having a 16 year old spirit and your dad still working… I think that having a positive attitude affects us in every way – spiritually, physically and mentally. I think that people who feel younger, look younger. I love your outlook – it’s so impacting to have people like you to emulate!
by Wendy Jans on 02/04/2011 at 9:54 am. #
You are exactly right!
by Aimee on 02/04/2011 at 7:30 am. #
I’ve never met a younger 62 year old than my own Mom who rides her motorcycle cross-country to Niagara Falls, North Carolina, Tennessee, Florida,and South Dakota, and then goes on weekend canoe trips with twenty year olds. It’s all on how you approach life. Her Wii age is 20. BJ’s is 23. Just sayin’.
by Dea Jo on 02/04/2011 at 7:45 am. #
Wow! That totally doesn’t surprise me that Diane’s Wii age is 20. Your mom is such a positive example – someone that I love to look at and think “See! Look at her – now that’s something to look forward to!”
by Wendy Jans on 02/04/2011 at 9:50 am. #
I still feel like I did when I was 17, but my hair is slightly thinner. I try to take every year and say, “ok this is what it feels like to be… 35, 36, 37…” and appreciate it for what it is.
by Eric Jans on 02/04/2011 at 10:46 am. #
Ha! I’m guilty of #1 every now and then , but it’s usually in a joking way rather than a serious one. Although I felt really old yesterday after shoveling all that snow on Tuesday. It’s bad when you audibly groan every time you get out of your chair. Anyway, thanks for the perspective!
by Mark H on 02/04/2011 at 11:37 am. #
i love this so much. i think getting older is actually pretty cool when we make a point to do things that challenge and excite us every year. High five, Wendy!
by patresa on 02/05/2011 at 11:51 pm. #
Well said, Wendy! If people keep telling themselves those things, then they will truly believe them. It’s a little disappointing.
by Micah on 02/06/2011 at 12:48 am. #
YES! *clapping clapping clapping!* … I’m going to be 54 this month, but I run, do weights, and yoga 3x a week, and I walk on other days – I eat right, I love live, I am living my dream of writing books, and of living in a gorgeous smoky mountain area!
And the book’s published and the running I didn’t start until I was in my 50’s. So . . . wheeeeeee to life!
Each age does bring its set of “stuff” that we have to consider, but, in that considering is Good Stuff, too.
by kathryn magendie on 02/06/2011 at 7:25 am. #
Wendy- I have certainly said number two from time to time to Marc. It is has been in the context of “oh my gosh, we are old enough to have good friend’s that are divorcing, I guess we really are adults now” and “we are getting old, and have the wisdom to understand that what our kids are doing now is just not right”… I love birthdays and although we don’t always celebrate with elaborate parties, I love being the age I am in the moment. And although I started dating my husband in high school, I’d never want to go back there again!
I have worked with some really old 40-somethings and really young 90 year olds. I want to embrace life and be one of those young 90-somethings! Enjoy it all Wendy and thanks for sharing, you are a rock star!
by Ann Kirkland on 02/06/2011 at 7:40 am. #